Today on Serious Eats: Black Bean Dip. I want to eat it all the time. Even when I’m sleeping. Which is probably ill-advised.
Please mark off the following questionnaire with a #2 pencil. Should that process begin to cause excessive damage to your computer, you may point to your answers onscreen.
This dish seems familiar because:
A) Déjà vu.
B) Leigh posted a similar Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble less than a year ago, and Kris (that’s me) forgot to double check when she was making the recipe. Doy.
C) It is your father.
Rhubarb and strawberries are/is:
A) Mellifluous.
B) Almost in season, and natural sweet/tart compliments for each other.
C) Peaches and Herb’s original name.
The difference between a crisp and a crumble is:
A) Inconsequential.
B) Nothing really, though crumble topping may be a bit more substantial than a crisp. Or maybe it’s the other way around? I forget.
C) Like the difference between Britney Spears and Beverly Sills! How dare you ask such a question, you culinary dilettante! Now abscond from my courtyard, and never use my bidet again!
The recipe comes from:
A) Yemen.
B) Barbara Kingsolver’s Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, which we discussed at length last week, to discover that it’s okay to take baby steps when it comes to ethical eating.
C) “The darkest depths of Mordor / I met a girl so fair / But Gollum, and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her, her, her....yeah.”
D) None of the above, especially Answer C, which consisted entirely of semi-appropriate Led Zeppelin lyrics.
E) And she’s buying a stairway to heaven.
The 1987 pilot of 21 Jump Street is:
A) Awesome.
B) Notable for launching the career of one John Depp, a dashing young actor who would remain impossibly attractive for the ensuing two-and-a-half decades.
C) Really awesome, because the cops regularly say things like, “It’s not against the law to be afraid.”
D) Really really awesome, because every “high school student” is at least 35-years-old and a dorky sophomore recovers from his heroin addiction and overdose in a single day.
E) Really really really awesome, because after a particularly harrowing police car chase, Mr. Depp breaks for a saxophone solo while the voice of his dead father is piped in over the smooth jazz stylings.
F) In my pants.
People who text and drive, especially on highways and major roads:
A) Duh.
B) Should be heavily fined and have their licenses revoked.
C) Should have their cars pelted with rotten oranges. This will A) teach a lesson and B) do less damage than the humans they will otherwise inevitably hit.
The best Golden Girl is:
A) Dorothy.
B) Sophia.
C) Rose.
D) Not Blanche.
Thank you for taking our quiz. The answer to every question was Z.
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If you like this recipe, you might also be tantalized by:
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Individual Strawberry Rhubarb Crisps
Serves 4.
Adapted from Barbara Kingsolver’s Animal, Vegetable, Miracle.
2 cups halved strawberries (or cut into thirds if it’s a big strawberry)
2 cups rhubarb, chopped
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup flour
1/4 cup rolled oats
1/4 cup light brown sugar
1/4 – 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon allspice
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened (NOT melted)
1) Preheat oven to 375ºF.
2) In a medium bowl, combine strawberries, rhubarb, and honey. Stir to coat. Even distribute among four 6-ounce ramekins.
3) In a separate bowl, combine flour, oats, brown sugar, cinnamon, and allspice. Stir. Cut butter into smaller pieces. Add butter to flour mixture. Using a fork or pastry blender, mash butter and flour mixture until medium-sized crumbs are formed. Sprinkle crumbs evenly on top of the four ramekins.
4) Place ramekins on a baking sheet. (For easier portability!) Bake about 35 minutes, or until rhubarb can be easily pierced with a knife. Topping should be browned and mixture should be bubbly. Remove from oven and let cool a few minutes. (Trust on this one.) Serve!
Approximate Calories, Fat, Fiber, Protein, and Price Per Serving
234 calories, 6.6 g fat, 3.5 g fiber, 2.6 g protein, $0.96
Calculations
2 cups halved strawberries: 97 calories, 0.9 g fat, 6.1 g fiber, 2 g protein, $1.33
2 cups rhubarb, chopped: 51 calories, 0.5 g fat, 4.4 g fiber, 2.2 g protein, $1.70
1/4 cup honey: 255 calories, 0 g fat, 0.2 g fiber, 0.3 g protein, $0.40
1/4 cup flour: 114 calories, 0.3 g fat, 0.8 g fiber, 3.2 g protein, $0.04
1/4 cup rolled oats: 74 calories, 1.5 g fat, 2 g fiber, 2.5 g protein, $0.14
1/4 cup light brown sugar: 137 calories, 0 g fat, fiber, or protein, $0.05
1/4 – 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon: 3 calories, 0 g fat, 0.6 g fiber, 0 g protein, $0.01
1/4 teaspoon allspice: negligible calories, fat, fiber, and protein, $0.04
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened: 204 calories, 23 g fat, 0 g fiber, 0.2 g protein, $0.12
TOTAL: 935 calories, 26.2 g fat, 14.1 g fiber, 10.4 g protein, $3.83
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): 234 calories, 6.6 g fat, 3.5 g fiber, 2.6 g protein, $0.96