Ask the Internet: LOST Finale Recipes?

Today’s question comes from Husband-Elect, who is still curled in a fetal position in the corner after watching the whole submarine thing go down.

Q: The finale of LOST is this Sunday. This makes me depressed and itchy. I would like to eat LOST-themed food to ease the pain. Please suggest something. NO SPOILERS.

A: We at CHG aim to please, sweet LOST fan. Here are a few Island entrees, appetizers, and Sayid dishes (say it out loud) for your viewing pleasure. We promise, they won’t make you want to Hurley.

(Readers, add your own ideas in the comment section! It'll be punnerific!)

Shephard’s Pie: This upstanding concoction of fish and Dharma potatoes should sustain and heal the party until about halfway through the meal, when your friends experience a philosophical flip-flop and reassess the meaning of the pie. (Thanks to Little Kitchen Mouse for this one.)

E-Clairs: Happily, this dessert starts off sweet and presents well. Sadly, with the addition of nuts, it quickly degenerates into a visual crapheap. (Serve with a side of bonebaby.)

Sun Jin Fizz: Warning: prolonged mistreatment of this pretty, pleasant cocktail will result in explosions, being caught in a bear trap, and a humbling journey through time and space.

Miles to Go Before I Dip: At first, you won’t understand the function of this sharp, rather disagreeable onion dip. But it’s served in a bowl where you can see the ghosts of other onion dips, so that’s cool.

WAAAAALTed Milkshake: While this youthful drink initially seems promising, it will be kidnapped by pirates, at which point it will quickly age out of its usefulness.

Juliomelet: This capable, attractive dish will quickly become your favorite meal, until it’s inexplicably sucked down a mineshaft. Then it will become someone else’s favorite dish on the show right after this one.

Lady Lockes, Stock, and Two Smoked Muensters: Imagine your favorite chicken broth topped with pungent frommage, served with creampuffs for dipping on the side. Does it make sense? No. You will eat it anyway.

Kate Flambé: This isn’t actually a recipe, but the Husband-Elect assures me that many would like to see it happen.

Readers, whatchoo got? The comment section is awaiting your ideas for LOST-themed food. We need something for Sawyer, Desmond, Charlie, Ben, and all the rest, brotha.

Want to ask the interweb a question? Post one in the comment section, or write to Cheaphealthygood@gmail.com. Then, tune in next Tuesday for an answer/several answers from the good people of the World Wide Net.