This article first appeared in February 2010.
A few months ago, I fell into possession of The Quick Cook Book by Lois S. Kellogg, a 1961 paperback filled with hundreds of convenient and occasionally jaw-dropping recipes.
There are Mayonnaise Mounds. There are Corned Beef Cobblers. There's even Prune Whip. And I'm pretty sure we can trace America's obesity problems directly to the Canned Chicken section.
To be fair to Lois, she seems to specialize in baking. The cake and cookie recipes look tasty and are mostly made from scratch. Some aren't, but ... we'll get to that later.
First, let's pretend we're hosting a party on Mad Men. And what better way to kick off a soiree than Cholives?
Of course, if you're not fond of olive and cheddar finger foods, deep-fried whole chicken sandwiches make an excellent light appetizer.
The meal really begins with soup. Tomatoes and pineapples are delicious, inexpensive, and come in cans. They should be lovely together.
Side dishes are vital to the success of any meal. I like to make a lot of them, since they're less expensive than meat.
I'd love to serve macaroni and cheese, but I find the garish yellow hue too distressing. How do I cope?
Of course, the most distressing part of hosting a party is that I never know what to serve for the main course. Jellied Meat Loaf? Corned Beef Corn Ring? Ham Wheel Pie? Corned Beef Cobbler? So many options, and all on the same page...
I know! We'll do breakfast for dinner! With a twist!
It's important to end the meal with a wholesome, appealing dessert. Since I believe halitosis is a myth, (like morally upright socialists), this should fit the bill!
You know, Onion Ice Cream is definitely going on the menu, but Bob really prefers treats that keep him regular. Maybe this would please him?
As for my son ... be careful, Danny. This peach pie is "Different" from all the other peach pies. You're such a good student. Don't let it ruin your future.
And to cap it all off, coffee. But drinking it just seems so ... pedestrian. Isn't there a better way to get that caffeine fix?
Mmm ... delicious. I bet the Jell-O company will pay me at least one hundred dollars for this recipe.
Cheers, everyone!
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(All photos from The Quick Cook Book by Lois S. Kellogg)